There I was, laying on my back with my earphones plugged in, looking up at the night sky. Why? I was tired. Tired of crying to myself silently at night so that no one could hear me. Tired of hugging my pillow hoping to feel a bit warmer. Tired of saying ‘I’m fine’ even though I know I don’t mean it. The songs that once brought me joy and happiness now bring me nothing but pain and tears. The sport that I enjoyed playing for so many years now serves as a reminder of all the times I’ve failed. I wanted to forget everything I knew even it was for a few minutes only. And just…relax.
I looked up at the stars that seemed to be smiling at me from above. I wondered whether they could feel my pain. Hear my cries. They seemed to make the otherwise dark and empty sky a brighter and better place. How were they doing it? How were they able to smile even though they were surrounded by such darkness?
And that’s when it hit me. I was so focused on the things that I wanted rather than the things I already had. Waiting for that one person to reply even though I know they just don’t care, yet forgetting about the 4 others who cancelled plans to make time for me. Stressing about the one equation I couldn’t solve, when I could be smiling at the thought of the countless others I solved at the blink of an eye. Crying about the ones that constantly put me down, when I could be so grateful for the ones who never failed to have my back. Worrying about planning for my future, when I could just be conscious of the hug Amma’s giving me right now.
The moment we start to be grateful for all that we have, what we want will find its way to us, no matter what. This is a night I will cherish forever. It taught me that even in the darkest of skies, the brightest of stars can be found. That is, if you learn to look for them.
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